Misc. Items,
First E-mail

"First Degree" ©1997
Misc. Items

Here is the text of the First E-mail response that the Student Writers received from Executive Producer, Charlene Joyce-Willingham, after sending her the first draft of "First Degree":

From: "Charlene Joyce"

To: "Tom Annis"

Subject: RE: First Degree/ Student writers

Date: Sat, 19 APR 1997 02:28:34 -0400


WOW! What a great script! I must admit to being incredibly impressed by "First Degree". It is hard to believe that this is a student project.


Outside of the fact that the dialogue was true to its time, I loved the flashback technique - a story within a story. I also loved the visuals - especially the cut away of LePage's boots swinging in the air at the end.


Structurally, I could only find three flaws. They were:

  1. Hattie Gault chose to lie about LePage's whereabouts on the morning of the murder. Why is that?
  2. The revelation of Waldo succumbing to Typhoid Fever is misleading. The viewer (or reader as the case may be) is led to believe that he either witnessed the event and is fearful, or was the culprit.
  3. There needs to be more definition of time. had it actually taken a year to convict LePage? How do you account for the passage of time on screen?

The important thing to remember when writing a script is its salability. Can you sell the audience on the idea? Is it truthful? I'd give First Degree a "Two thumbs up" on both accounts.


Another year, should you embark on a similar project, it might be interesting to create a "Workshop forum". I would be more than interested in coming to Düsseldorf with a "beta" crew to offer hands on experience.


Thanks for the great read. Feel free to have your students E-mail me with any questions.

All Good Wishes,
Charlene Joyce-Willingham
Producer- ABC Pictures

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The Project
The Project

Plot Summary
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The Script

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Locations

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The Writers

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The Cast/Crew

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The Professionals

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Behind the Scenes

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Date Last Modified: 1/29/98
by Trial Productions ©1997/ Tom Annis, Facilitator. International School of Düsseldorf, Germany
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